The Last Lecture

The Last Lecture
by Randy Pausch (Author), Jeffrey Zaslow (Author)

What comes through clearly in Randy Pausch's little book is that he's a guy who's incredibly decent and loving. He writes warmly of his childhood and his parents; he assures us that he's achieved just about every goal he dreamed of as a youth; he appears to be a good and dedicated teacher; he loves his wife and kids; and even when he assures us that he, like everyone else, has personality issues that need working on--he is, he tells us, a "recovering jerk"--his admitted foibles seem pretty tame. Pausch is Joe Everyperson.

I think that's the value of his Last Lecture. Pausch clearly isn't of a philosophical bent of mind. If you pick up his book looking for profound existential discussions about human frailty and mortality (as, I confess, I did), you're not going to find them. I've no doubt that, since the onslaught of his illness, he and his wife Jai have endured despairing dark nights of the soul, paralyzing bouts of panic, and heart-pounding rage against the dying of the light. But except for very rare intimations, Pausch draws a veil over such episodes, and instead offers a mixture of autobiographical reflections and homespun tips on making the most of life (such as managing time, re-thinking priorities, and learning to listen to others). As he tells us, his final lecture to us is about life more than death.

Pausch's ability to hang onto the everyday, to the ordinary aspects of life even as his own draws to an end, is both the book's strength and its weakness. It's a strength in that it spotlights human courage and compassion, and in this regard The Last Lecture is an inspirational success. But one also senses that Pausch's insistence on staying on the surface of things might suggest a deep resistance to the unsettling fact that the surface of things is inexorably slipping away from him. One can talk candidly about one's death without having come to terms with the reality of what one's saying.

Tweak

Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines
by Nic Sheff (Author)

Nic Sheff was drunk for the first time at age eleven. In the years that followed, he would regularly smoke pot, do cocaine and Ecstasy, and develop addictions to crystal meth and heroin. Even so, he felt like he would always be able to quit and put his life together whenever he needed to. It took a violent relapse one summer in California to convince him otherwise. In a voice that is raw and honest, Nic spares no detail in telling us the compelling, heartbreaking, and true story of his relapse and the road to recovery. As we watch Nic plunge the mental and physical depths of drug addiction, he paints a picture for us of a person at odds with his past, with his family, with his substances, and with himself. It's a harrowing portrait -- but not one without hope.

"Tweak" is much easier to understand if you read the author's father's book, also recently published, called "Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Meth Addiction" by David Sheff. By reading his father's account of the same time, you understand from a parent's perspective just what is going on with Nic Sheff. You understand how brilliant and talented Nic is (he will not tell you this in his book) and you understand what this novel explores---his descent into methamphetamine addiction, how he lived for many years, how he squandered his potential by avoiding dealing with life, and the consequences in his life and in the lives of those he loves. Once you know more about who the young author is, you can appreciate his book so very, very much more.

The author is honest and transparent about the life he has lived as an addict, and the book is worth reading for this alone. Not many of us who haven't been through it can imagine what an average day is like for a meth addict, and this book shows us that. The insight this book truly gives you is what goes on inside an addict's mind, and how an addict views life and circumstances---very differently from a non-addict. Many of the terms may be confusing to those of us unfamiliar with drug culture (for example, "tweak", "rig", "push off") but again, they are explained in his father's book "Beautiful Boy".

So, read "Beautiful Boy" first from the parental perspective---don't miss it---and then, if you are still intrigued, as I was, follow up with "Tweak" and venture more deeply into the mind and life of the addict---who eventually becomes a likable person to the reader, not just an intensely selfish and initially totally unlikable addict. The author is courageous in sharing his life so openly in this book. I think it will make an impression upon you and leave you with a read you will not soon forget.